James Noble

Guest Columnist

Hear ye, hear ye; this court of political examination is now in session. Today we will explore the facts, eliminate the bias, and render a verdict based on impeccable evidence. For our final judgment must be apolitical to preserve the integrity of the decision.

First, I call on the Democrats to present their arguments. Sir Democrat, are you ready to testify and will you swear that the testimony you offer here before the American public is truthful in its entirety? By answering in the affirmative you are now under oath.

For many decades the Democratic Party has promoted itself as inclusive, but when advocates and activists of alternative persuasions disagree with your political ideals; you label them as ignorant, bigots, and even racists. Is inclusiveness in your party restricted to or only for those who submit to your world view? So then you admit the Democratic Party is exclusive rather than inclusive when applying these reasonable standards?

In 2012, has the Democratic Party offered an economic recovery plan that will remedy our national debt crisis and spur economic growth? Remembering you are under oath and are subject to perjury, would you like to revise that statement? Blaming the other side for your failures seems quite irrational. Why do Democrats and their surrogates continue to misrepresent the facts in their political attacks? So you are saying winning an election is more important than serving the public’s best interest? “It’s no wonder the American people have lost faith in their elected officials.”

How do you justify the $1.5 trillion annual deficits? Now you honestly believe we can spend our way to prosperity? “Well unicorns and fairies also sound euphoric, but they too only exist in the make-believe fantasies of youthful innocence.” One the other hand, making campaign promises of transparency and accountability and then disregarding the proposition seems dishonest. Wait you actually believe that disingenuous rhetoric is what constituents want to hear? “Amazing,” I have no more questions for you; you may step down.

Next, I call Sir Republican. Can you and will you swear that the testimony you are about to give is the soul truth? You too are also under oath and subject to perjury if you try to distort or misconstrue the truth. Have you ever solicited monetary funds and or gifts from a lobbyist? Have you benefited from insider trading? Just because the other side does it doesn’t make it right.

Why has the Republican Party decided to cut Medicare instead of preserving Medicare? Yes I know the Democrats will also cut $.5 billion out of Medicare as well, but as a wise man once said “two wrongs doesn’t equate to one right”. And you honestly believe that a poor person should pay the same tax rate as a rich person? “My goodness,” you can’t really be that crass.

Nevertheless, other than tax cuts, how are the Republicans going to solve our economic woes? Do you actually believe that spending cuts alone will magically pay off our national debt of $16 trillion and counting? Stop right there; you are excluding the waste and fraud in our Defense Budget? “No,” actually the Soviet Empire collapsed because Russia overspent on their military while ignoring their decaying infrastructure. Does that sound familiar?

Turning to free markets, does the GOP favor constructive and destructive capitalism? One competes fairly and the other is driven by greed regardless of the consequences and outcomes. I am surprised you did not know this; how did you become an elected official? “Oh the established bestowed their blessings upon you and transferred party funds to your coffer.” Is that what they mean by “trickle down economics”? “Wow,” your mama must be so proud to know you didn’t have to pull up your bootstraps after all.

Where in the Republican montage can I find a roadmap for pragmatic action? And what values has the party leaders given to our safety-net programs that protect the most vulnerable? “Objection,” your sympathy for the strong and intolerance of the weak is not a defendable position. “Incredible pious,” I have no more questions at this moment for the witness; you are excused.

When reaching a verdict, this court has concluded that both parties are negligent in serving the people. Both are guilty of political distortion and neither side has offered a legitimate way forward. It is the opinion of this court that we may have entered the “twilight zone” of The Outer Limits-for Democrats and Republicans have alienated and somehow silenced every nonpartisan voice. If pressed on the execution of the political leadership in Washington of both parties; as one legendary football coach once said “I am all for it”.

I’m listening Thomaston, what do you think?