By Daris Howard Guest Columnist
January 31, 2014
I don’t know if anyone ever sees anything fun in want-ad type postings, but sometimes the personality of the person doing the posting really shows through. Between that, and the fact that sometimes the post probably doesn’t come out quite like the person intended, the humor in them can brighten my day. I like to collect the ones that make me smile, and I thought I’d share some of them with you.
On Craig’s List: Wedding table cameras. Purchased off tietheknot.com for $4.99 each, then husband forgot to bring them on our wedding day!!!! (It’s still a touchy subject!) Still in the plastic, contains 400-speed film and a small tent-style instruction card. I would like these gone so I can get on with my marriage and not have to see them unused anymore.
On Craig’s List: Cow named Bessy. Would like to trade for cow of no name. Is full grown. Was grain fed and raised for meat, but made the mistake of naming her at the time we fed her as a calf from a bottle. If you have a similar cow to trade, will trade straight across.
On Freecycle: Our puppy died, giving away the bones.
On Freecycle: Free, talking doll. Freaks me out seriously. I can’t take it in my house anymore, and I can fully blame my father and the science fiction channel. It plays peekaboo and my toddler loves it, but I can’t keep it, seriously. I keep expecting it to look at me and say, “I’m talking, Jane.” Please email for address.
On Freecycle: Free hen. Her companion hen is gone and she is depressed. She needs to be with other hens! I will not give her to someone who doesn’t already have some! She is super sweet and amazingly tame because we raised her from like a week old. She is laying even in winter because we have had a heat lamp on her (but the heat lamp we are not giving away). You will need your own cage, however. We are keeping ours. I repeat, you cannot have our cage. ( I say this because people have stolen things I said were not up for grabs before.) We have a large feeder and a large waterer and a huge barely broken into bag of scratch for her, (but she likes the other feed better). Please call me to set up a time and get our address. Thanks. I am emotionally attached, so do not respond if you are wanting to kill her!!! I want her to go to a good home, maybe with kids who can love her, and I don’t mean in a stew.
A second posting on FreeCycle: To the Lady who got my Hen: Her long lost friend finally returned home. If you would like her as well, please call me.
Craig’s List: It’s a long shot but I’m looking for the person who bought a pair of brown, felt sole wading boots from a thrift store in Idaho Falls. There were two pair of the same kind and I believe that you mismatched them and have two different sizes (as I do now). LOL Let me know and we can swap them out.
On Freecycle: Free, one night stand. Beautiful and in good shape. Well built with nice, smooth curves. Beautiful drawers. Not too old. Slim and light tan/blonde, though slightly greying from being in sunlight. Legs are beautiful, and top is, too. To reply, please call…
A second posting on FreeCycle: All right, for all of you clueless idiots. A night stand is a little piece of furniture that goes by your bed, and I happen to have one of them. And it is in good shape, and well built. If you aren’t interested in furniture, don’t call me!
(Daris Howard, award-winning, syndicated columnist, playwright, and author, can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org; or visit his website at http://www.darishoward.com)